HELLO Halo's spoof story
by Bubbaliciousgurl
Summary: Following the game of Halo, the master chief (BOB) tries to do what is asked of him, but with Cort-Hannah in his head and singing covanant? Things get out of order...and fast.


HELLO (HALO)  
  
Setting the scene: The Master chief (Bob) had been thawed and rushed to Captain Purses office (the main deck of the Pillar of August), where he was given a small hand gun and Cort-Hannah (Some kind of computer he had to plug into his helmet.) Then was sent off to kill the Tap-Dancing-singing- mooing Aliens called the COVANANT.  
  
~*~  
  
Master Chief: Okay, so what is that noise *loads up the hand gun he's holding.* and what are you doing? Eating away my brain cells?  
  
Cort-Hannah: *laughs (She's a computer, you can't see her!)* Those are the COVANANT. They tap-dance. I love to watch their version of the 2109 Russian ballet done in the Czech Republic.  
  
MC: Okay, well *shoot's a ballet dancing COVANANT in the head* There's the grand finale for you.  
  
COVANANT1: EDDIE! * Run's over to friend's dead body. * NO NOT EDDIE! *All four COVANANT standing nearby all look down and start to hum like monks. *  
  
MC: Not what I wanted them to do.  
  
COVANANT2: *In some sort of Hebrew* Ashira I'A doni ki-gaoh gaah.  
  
CH: Well, according to my data banks, they're singing.  
  
MC: No Duh! *Shoot's another in the head. * I wish they'd stop.  
  
* Suddenly all singing throughout the ship stops, then a small grunt's voice sings out. *  
  
Grunt: *in monk's song voice * Some onnnnnnnnneeee killed Eddddddddiiiiiiieeeeeeee.  
  
Mc: *starts to laugh. * That was cool; too bad I have to kill him. *Aims gun *  
  
CH: NO WAIT! HE'S STILL TALKING.  
  
Grunt: SO LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
CH: Go where?  
  
MC: Shut up or get out of my head!  
  
Grunt: GET COFFFFFFFFFFIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
MC: THEY DRINK COFFEE?  
  
CH: Oh no.  
  
MC: Caffeine? CAFFEINE?  
  
CH: Sadly enough.yes.  
  
Grunt: TOOOOO THE CAFFFFFETERIAAAAAAAAA!  
  
MC: Well *loads up gun. * Lets go kill some singing COVANANT.  
  
(A/n: the word COVANANT is in all cap's for a reason. 1. my computer say's it's spelled wrong any other way and 2. THEIR YELLING IT! Okay back to the story. Hope ya like it.)  
  
CH: Be careful, on caffeine, they enjoy doing the can-can.  
  
MC: What are you, some sort of COVANANT freak?  
  
* Millions of little COVANANT flee into the Cafeteria for coffee, meanwhile, while they indulge in their coffee they are being watched by the master chief.*  
  
CH: What about a grenade?  
  
MC: To blow them up?  
  
CH: No! To shut them up!  
  
MC: How about this? * Throws a grenade into the cafeteria and laughs insanely as millions of COVANANT blow up- destroying all of their precious coffee.*  
  
CH: Well that works.  
  
Grunt: SOMEEEEEEE ONNEEEEE KILLEDDDDDD BOBBYYYYYYYYYYYY..  
  
MC: Doesn't that guy die?  
  
Grunt: *in some sort of Hebrew again* Mica moca may be lim a' don ni!  
  
CH: Wow that little guys got a great voice.  
  
MC: * shoots him.* Yeah- pity I had to kill him though.  
  
CH: You're a cruel pathetic little man.  
  
MC: You're just a computer so I don't have to listen to you.  
  
CH: *Laughs and starts eating brain cells- throwing bob onto the floor screaming like a little school girl. *  
  
MC: MOMMY! MOMMY! I WANT YOU MOMMY!  
  
CH: Okay- that was yummy! Now lets go watch the COVANAT back street boys! They're live in Concert with Colby Keith! I love him he's so sexy!  
  
MC: Yeah uh I think so too. *Gets up and runs to the bridge to see the famous COVANAT stars in concert*  
  
COVANAT: Ticket?  
  
MC: Ticket? TICKET? SCREW YOU FAT BOY! *Shoots him in the head- millions of screaming COVANAT thanks him as they run freely into the concert hall. *  
  
K.K.: Hello all my adoring fans! * Millions of COVANANT cheer him on. Some of the males screaming out love vows to Colby Keith. * Before I start the concert I want to get security in here to destroy the human in here.  
  
MC: JEEZ LOUISE! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? *throws a grenade which lands on Kolby Keith's fake hair and Bob runs out. *  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
*BOOM *  
  
* BOOM*  
  
*CHEESE *  
  
*BOOM *  
  
*BOOM *  
  
*CRACKERS*  
  
*BOOM!*  
  
*BOOM *  
  
*BOOM *  
  
"OWIE!"  
  
*Then a really gay purple dinosaur skips into the room *  
  
GPD: Hey sissy boy- what happened here?  
  
MC: Someone pissed me off. Who are you?  
  
GPD: Wouldn't you like to know?  
  
CH: I would! I would!  
  
MC: SHUT UP!  
  
GPD: OH! YOU SAID A BAD WORD! I'M TELLING BABY BOP!  
  
MC: BARNEY! YOUR BARNEY? *pulls out his gun and shoots him.* I'm sorry Barney, I did love you.  
  
GPD: *laughs insainely. * I'm not quite dead yet.  
  
MC: Okay thanks *shoots him seven more times. *How bout now?  
  
GPD: Nope.  
  
MC: HOW ABOUT NOW? * starts to jump on the gay purple dinosaur and beats him up as hard a possible. *  
  
GPD: NOPE!  
  
MC: Okay then I'll kill you later.  
  
GPD: LOVE YOU!  
  
MC: I LOVE YOU TOO!  
  
GPD: WOW YOU LOVE ME?  
  
MC: NO- I just said that to shut you up.  
  
CH: Yeah right you liar-  
  
MC: what are you a physic?  
  
CH: Well I am in your brain. Stupid.  
  
MC: I really wish you'd just die..  
  
CH: I'll die if you die.  
  
MC: NO WAY!  
  
CH: I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!  
  
GPD: Wow, she skipped doggie dare and double doggie dare and went to triple dog dare you, which means she skipped the cherry on top too..this must be serious..I'll act dead! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
MC: We can hear you, you idiot!  
  
GPD: I don't hear me, are you telling the truth?  
  
CH: Just shoot him please.  
  
MC: Hey, kinda off the subject but were we supposed to be going somewhere?  
  
CH: YES! OFF THE SHIP!  
  
MC: Really?  
  
CH: YES!  
  
MC: Really really?  
  
GPD: Oh oh! Pick me! Take me with! I'll buy you lunch!  
  
MC: REALLY? I'd like lunch  
  
*then cort-hannah compelles Bob to kill the dinosaur and then they escape from the ship as it blows up..* 


End file.
